Broken memories
by jamesnlilyever
Summary: Draco Hermione fanfic Draco realizes the mistake he made the day he let Hermione go but when he confronts her she has moved on. He walks through her house and relives the memories he shared with her and fights to find a reason to keep living. Please read,


Hey this is jamesnlily4ever I hope you guys enjoy this fic it's my first D/Hr plz review enjoy.

Chapter one:

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing! Unless you count my hair. No wait… That's genetics so I guess that's my parent's too along with the house (or so they always tell me)

When moonlight crawls along the street

Chasing away the summer heat

Footsteps outside somewhere below

The world revolves I let it go

We build our church above this street

We practice love between these sheets

The candy sweetness scent of you

It bathes my skin I'm stained by you

And all I have to do is hold you There's a racing in my heart

And I am barely touching you

Turn the lights down low

Take it off Let me show

My love for you Insatiable

Turn me on Never stop

Wanna taste every drop

My love for you Insatiable

The moonlight plays upon your skin

A kiss that lingers takes me in

I fall asleep inside of you

There are no words There's only truth

Breathe in Breathe out There is no sound

We move together up and down

We levitate our bodies soar

Our feet don't even touch the floor

And nobody knows you like I do

This world it don't understand

But I grow stronger in your hands

Turn the lights down low

Take it off Let me show

My love for you Insatiable

Turn me on Never stop

Wanna taste every drop

My love for you Insatiable

Turn the lights down low

Take it off Let me show

My love for you Insatiable

Turn me on Never stop

Wanna taste every drop

My love for you Insatiable

We never sleep we're always holdin' hands

Kissin' for hours talkin' makin' plans

I feel like a better man Just being in the same room

We never sleep there's just so much to do

Too much to say

Can't close my eyes when I'm with you

Insatiable the way I'm loving you

Turn the lights down low

Take it off Let me show

My love for you Insatiable

Turn me on Never stop

Wanna taste every drop

My love for you Insatiable

Turn the lights down low

Take it off Let me show

My love for you Insatiable

Turn me on Never stop

Wanna taste every drop

My love for you Insatiable…

He stood there unsure of what was going to happen taking his steps in wide open strides the thought of apparating disappeared from his thoughts as his mind wandered onto different more important matters, _what would happen once he got…there _he had thought of going there ever since it had happened. Ever since she had left. Not that he had tried to make her stay or tell her that she couldn't go, that he needed her to be with him…Not then anyway.

He hadn't realized what a hold she would have on him. He hadn't even imagined that kind of (emotional) reaction to was even possible. Especially not to her and he didn't think that she had anticipated it either. The graying clouds began to engulf the sky threatening rain but he didn't care, even when he began to feel tiny droplets of rain released themselves from the sky's hold and trickle down his jaw, plastering his blonde hair to his face he didn't even notice. There were more important things on his mind.

Hermione sat on the edge of her canopy bed, white sheets drawn around her as she tried to trap the warmth that radiated from her body willing it not to leave. Not to leave her cold. She had been cold for far too long; she didn't want to be cold anymore. Her eyes wandered throughout her room without really seeing, her mind focused on that night.

By now the water had seeped through his clothes chilling his very bones but that didn't phase him, nothing could make him feel colder than he already was…inside. Her voice still echoed in his head. "This was a mistake" as she bent down grabbed her belongings and left, leaving him to sit there alone watching her retreating back not even thinking to call her name, to call her back, to stop her from walking out of his life unaware later of how much this mistake would cost him, unaware of how a few moths later he would give anything to change what he had done. Her words hung in the air replaying in his head cutting him deeper each time they repeated themselves as if punishing him for what he had done. He ran a hand through his hair willing the images and thoughts of her to leave his mind to stop torturing his soul with her scent, her smile and her touch since the day he had let her leave.

Hermione picked her self up off of her bed regretting it instantly as the sheets slipped to the floor letting the coldness seep into her body drowning the warmth that she had felt only moments before. It wasn't true warmth. She knew she would never be able to feel that again, not without him. She made her way over to her small white suitcase and bent down doubled over it. Making sure there was nothing else she needed not that it really mattered anyway. She didn't even know where she was going. She was just trying to forget, trying to erase all of the images and emotions that had risen in her that night, emotions that she had never felt before. Emotions that she never even knew she could feel.

Never in a million years would she have guessed that, that kind of feeling was even possible or yet that it would happen with him. She could remember thinking that it wasn't supposed to be him, him of all people. She remembered being mad at herself for feeling _that_ with him, but being even more upset with herself when she had left, when she had never seen him again. When she had never gotten the chance to see if he had felt the same way.

Though she doubted it _if he felt that way about you, he would of stopped you, you were just like all the rest…nothing special just convenient nothing more. _She felt a tear trickle down the side of her face as she allowed them to flow freely running over the already permenet streaks from where she had on so many occasions shed her tears.

_How could she have just left like that? How could she have turned around and walked away from the one thing in her life that felt right? _She thought to herself furiously as she slammed her drawers shut, shattering chips of oak from their edges and sending the mirror sitting on top of it crashing to the ground with shards of glass falling in every direction.

Hermione stood still unphased by the circumstances until she looked down to her right wrist and was aware only slightly that it was bleeding. She crossed the room to her bed- side cabinet and grasped tissue settling herself on her bed. She stifled the flow, but it wasn't her hand she brought the tissue to but her eyes, the flow of her tears was more pressing then that of the blood on her hand. Her hand would heal…Her heart would not. She tensely bent down and with her left hand picked up her suitcase fastening all the clutches and placing her wand in her back pocket. She made her way out of her bedroom and made to shut the door only looking back once to the shattered mirror to see if she wasn't too much of a mess.

"So much for that" she muttered to herself…"I'll always be a mess." Before turning her back to her room and making her way to the front door out of her house and out of her life, a life that she couldn't bear to be in… Not anymore it was too painful.

His footsteps quickened as he came closer to where he knew she would be. A curious urgency rising within him, a need to be with her as his footfalls became wider and more rushed with anticipation flowing through his veins. The rain by now pouring as the harsh droplets of water collided with the cement of the creased and aged roads obscuring his vision as he rounded the corner at Sherwood and Wisteria begging to make his way to number 17 a house he knew well. Not from being there but from the many times when he had tried to contact her but couldn't. From all the times he had thought of coming there, to explain but he hadn't. He had left each time after hours of just sitting there rehearsing what he would say nothing ever seemed adequate enough plainly put he as afraid. Afraid of what she might tell him, afraid that she would have moved on. His heart began to beat harder, banging in his chest begging for release from the prison that held it captive, with each step the pounding in his chest intensified begging for relief from the case that held it so well. Fear was suddenly mixed with anticipation as his steps drew him nearer that was coursing through his veins as he full out ran.

He was only two doors away _he was going to see her._

He was only one door away _he was going to touch her_

He was in front of her door _he was going to…_

"What are you doing here?" She asked sock evident on her face.

He didn't know what to do he stood there gazing into her eyes afraid to break contact scared of what would happen if he looked away. Scared he might loose her again.

Hermione took a steadying breath trying to calm down, _what the hell was he doing here? _She thought to herself.

"Hey" was all he managed to say, but he knew it was a mistake the moment he said it.

"Hey?" Hermione said the anger beginning to show on her face you came all the way down here to say hey?" Hermione asked incredulously.

"No, I just-" he started but was cut off by Hermione's harsh words.

"What" asked Hermione "you just thought you'd come waltzing back in her and turn my life upside down again?"

"No Hermione just listen" he said reaching out to her arm.

"Don't touch me!" Hermione yelled pulling her arm out of his reach and then calming herself asked "what are do you want?"

"I want" he started casting around for the right words "I want that night back, Hermione"

Hermione ran a hand through her hair as her breathing grew faster biting her bottom lip.

"What?" She asked confused by what he meant.

"I want that night we had together back" he said sincerity written across his face and a pleading sort of look in his eyes.

"You want it back? You're not making any sense! What do you want me to do?"

"I" said Draco closing the distance between them in one stride and placing his hands around her waist drawing her close to him "I want you to be with me."

Hermione almost let his smooth touch draw her in but she pushed him away, she wasn't going to let him have her not again. "No" she whispered.

"What?" asked Draco.

"I said no!" said Hermione looking away "Draco you can't just come here and want everything back, it's not that simple" Hermione wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Why can't it be?" asked Draco grabbing Hermione's shoulders and looking into her eyes.

"It" started Hermione casting around for a reason why it couldn't be "it just can't." she said helplessly.

"That's bullshit!" said Draco "you just don't want it to be you won't let it be that simple because, you're scared."

"Why do you even want to be with me Draco?" said Hermione letting her bag fall to the ground as she started to back into her house.

"Why…Why? Jesus Christ Hermione!" said Draco running his hands through his hair as if trying to tear it out. "I want to be with you because after that night I tried to forget, God knows I tried to forget," said Draco glancing up at the sky. "I tried everything I was with everyone trying to find what I had found with you that night but I couldn't, I went on forever telling myself that it was nothing special but it was it was Hermione! I was with so many people but I lost something in you that night something I never want back."

"Oh yeah" said Hermione taking a shaky step towards Draco "well what's that?"

"Oh yeah?" said Hermione tears of anger shining in her eyes "well I don't want it, so just take it back I don't want anything to do with you anymore Draco! I've had enough, I can't spend every night thinking about you I can't spend every moment re-living that night. And then waking up to find that it was my dream, I can't keep thinking about you.

"You don't have to!" he said a pleading look in his eyes, I'm right here you don't have to dream anymore! I'm here we can be with each other the way it's supposed to be!"

"No Draco" yelled Hermione picking up her bag again that's not the way it's supposed to be, if it were you would have stopped me that night when I left, you would have called my name or something. But you didn't and if you didn't realize how important I was to you then, not a year later!" Hermione looked into Draco's eyes and for a moment sensed remorse but she quickly brushed that aside and pushed him out of her way and made her way down the street and with one last look over her shoulder she apparrated.

"Shit!" said Draco rounding on the door and slamming his fist against the wooden paneling sending shards flying in every which direction he ran a hand through his hair and took a steadying breath staring at his reflection in the glass of the door. He watched as tiny droplets of rain fell from the rain duct and trickled down the door slowly beginning to crystallize. Draco leant his head against the door trying to clear his mind with the intense frigidness of the door but was surprised when slowly it swung open with the contact of his head.

Draco was shocked when the door opened to him, he slowly pushed it partially aside and looked into her home. If you could even call it that, the dining room looked as if it hadn't been occupied for months and as he stepped farther into her home he noticed the kitchen seemed barren as if nothing had been eaten for weeks. He slowly walked farther into the living room and looked around at the few possessions that occupied the flat. It appeared to be more vacant then his own flat which truth be told was no more a home as Snape was the minister of magic, a grin passed across his face at the thought but was quickly replaced by a look pure sorrow. He continued to allow his gaze to take in her world stopped when he came upon a picture sitting upon on her mantel. It was nothing special merely a snapshot of what appeared to be Ron's 27 birthday party. He smirked at the faces of all the people who he had so loathed in his years at Hogwarts and glanced through all their smiling faces. His eyes traveled from their waving hands to the giant cake in the background next to what seemed to be a dangerously tipsy Padma, Patil but as his eyes traveled they landed on something even more disturbing.

Hidden in the far corner of the photo stood Hermione to anybody else they wouldn't notice anything odd about her, but as his eyes overlooked her entire figure he saw it… She smiled a brilliant smile full of happiness but a second later as Ron clinked glasses with Harry her smile faded and was replaced with a look of paralyzing sadness her eyes seemed unfocused and somewhat clouded, she shivered and ran her hands over her arms. Draco's heart wrenched as her look transfixed him he felt a jerking sensation in his stomach. It took all of his strength not to smash the picture on the ground, anything to end the pain captured within her at that moment. As his knuckles turned white with pain from gripping the photo with unfounded intensity, it was suddenly over. For Ron had walked over to her at that moment and had enveloped her in a hug (a somewhat unstable one) and offered her something to drink and as quickly as if it hadn't happened at all the sickly sweet smile was once again plastered on her face and the picture ended and again began to replay that moment in time once again. A never-ending time of her pain caught and doomed to forever replay itself.

_It's your fault._

Draco allowed himself to fall onto a nearby armchair as he leant over to place the picture on the nightstand but stopped when he saw the corner of aged parchment protruding from the hastily replaced backing of the frame.

Gently Draco removed the metal backing of the frame and pulled out the scrap of parchment he tenderly unfolded the creased note and found it immensely hard to read for it was tear stricken the ink smudged and faded.

No matter how fucked up things get you'll always have yourself…But what happens when you hurt yourself more then others around you?

He felt tiny tears prickle at his eyes begging for their release but he held them back as he trailed his fingers over her name, ashamed of what he had done to her ashamed of what he had reduced her life to. He felt the urge to do something, anything to stop her pain.

_The pain that you caused._

A wave of anger coursed through him at the thought of her pain that he had so willingly caused and could now not take back, in desperation he raised his hand clutching the picture and forcefully through it up against the wooden panes of her 2 story flat. He stood there unperturbed by the shards of glass flying in every direction, he took a shaky breath, he had destroyed that memory…_But what about the living memory?_

The deafening silence was however disturbed when Draco dropped to his knees and released a deafening scream filled with all the pain and misery of his tortured soul. As his mind prolonged the pain with flashes of the only one who could save him from the hell that encircled him…

Hermione rubbed her hands over her arms as she felt something heard something, and suddenly she felt it, a prolonged sense of pain that was not her own but somebody else's, and it pulled at her heart a forged connection seemed to be drawing his pain from her.

Hastily Draco stood and turned to face the windows the fog already begging to form around the outer edges from the rain that was constantly bombarding the glass with what seemed to be a newfound urgency. He pushed back the sleeves of his oversized robes having not eaten in weeks the robes no longer fit his thin pale once muscular body. He pushed his sleeves up his arms and brought the backs of his palms to his eyes brushing away the tears and pressed his knuckles to his temples trying to ease the constant headache that overwhelmed him from the constant pelt of memories. He knew that was all they were. He was doomed to re-witness the loss of the one person who had made him feel…He wasn't quite sure anymore what he had felt with her.

"_Damn"_ he thought _"what has this woman done to me?"_

Okay review to tell me how you liked it, this will have a second part (it'll be posted shortly) I just wanted to know what you guys thought, again this is my first stab at a D/Hr fanfic so be nice. Hope to hear from you guys.


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